Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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