I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
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My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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