Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
