RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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