carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You were trust falling into bushes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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