never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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