he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
