Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
