piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
