i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
