I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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