some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Girls should come with a carfax report
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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