TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will be naked everywhere
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
