Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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