the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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