You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize