Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
