no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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