Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
