you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
