Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
