Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
