He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
