i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
