angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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