I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
