You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A+ Viking dick
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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