the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.