I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
