Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Did someone propose they get off the stage?

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  (312): awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!! (708): Did someone propose they get off the stage? http://tfl.nu/mqed
  Replies (15) Good night (2349) Bad night (597)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later

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  (513): i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later http://tfl.nu/g0hd
  Replies (24) Good night (4361) Bad night (1224)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.

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  (703): I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is. http://tfl.nu/7kmq
  Replies (53) Good night (852) Bad night (3152)
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  (619): View more from California

  all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank

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  (619): all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank http://tfl.nu/98ag
  Replies (59) Good night (5278) Bad night (1000)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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  (361): Did i throw a brick at someone last night? http://tfl.nu/tk7m
  Replies (15) Good night (5824) Bad night (1476)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"

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  (970): But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed" http://tfl.nu/2s0k
  Replies (6) Good night (1137) Bad night (2701)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.

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  (918): I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xikz
  Replies (27) Good night (3741) Bad night (1976)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.

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  (508): I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals. http://tfl.nu/elpv
  Replies (3) Good night (2832) Bad night (781)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.

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  (217): So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world. http://tfl.nu/kbv9
  Replies (18) Good night (2473) Bad night (1648)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.

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  (506): My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out. http://tfl.nu/qizv
  Replies (29) Good night (1038) Bad night (2005)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.

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  (253): There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs. http://tfl.nu/3p74
  Replies (22) Good night (5342) Bad night (824)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention

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  (413): when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention http://tfl.nu/m2zs
  Replies (4) Good night (1825) Bad night (634)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%

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  (778): Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25% http://tfl.nu/4mvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1173) Bad night (637)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs

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  (607): I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs http://tfl.nu/5n4l
  Replies (16) Good night (587) Bad night (2620)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump

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  (585): Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump http://tfl.nu/n5lk
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (327)

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