Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
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I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.