Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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  (215): She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier. http://tfl.nu/gy92
  Replies (25) Good night (739) Bad night (5497)
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  (831): View more from California

  I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.

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  (831): I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer. http://tfl.nu/gejp
  Replies (18) Good night (2850) Bad night (2146)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  story of my life.

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  (717): do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were? (224): story of my life. http://tfl.nu/syxz
  Replies (15) Good night (2735) Bad night (4250)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"

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  (917): They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?" http://tfl.nu/nrwr
  Replies (5) Good night (3508) Bad night (1604)
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  (209): View more from California

  You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.

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  (209): You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him. http://tfl.nu/xni0
  Replies (15) Good night (4136) Bad night (1562)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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  (602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem
  Replies (11) Good night (2500) Bad night (810)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.

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  (713): Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner. http://tfl.nu/89n9
  Replies (7) Good night (3166) Bad night (1344)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.

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  (316): This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python. http://tfl.nu/dk7h
  Replies (20) Good night (2582) Bad night (732)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.

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  (212): Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals. http://tfl.nu/0i6j
  Replies (2) Good night (1953) Bad night (592)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?

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  (860): How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"? http://tfl.nu/cbsf
  Replies (9) Good night (1094) Bad night (598)
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  (650): View more from California

  There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.

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  (650): There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband. http://tfl.nu/3etq
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (1011)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Don't make emojis simulating eating me out

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  (913): Don't make emojis simulating eating me out http://tfl.nu/tdiy
  Replies (5) Good night (825) Bad night (468)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.

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  (405): Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking. http://tfl.nu/sqkf
  Replies (29) Good night (807) Bad night (528)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.

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  (708): I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day. http://tfl.nu/dqby
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (415)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK

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  (717): HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK http://tfl.nu/wvyd
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (284)

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