You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
