Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes

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  (508): the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes http://tfl.nu/rtqh
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (3637)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together

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  (651): Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together http://tfl.nu/hjtb
  Replies (16) Good night (712) Bad night (3585)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.

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  (206): Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though. http://tfl.nu/6g66
  Replies (27) Good night (1841) Bad night (5659)
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  (805): View more from California

  just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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  (805): just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/ly75
  Replies (7) Good night (6504) Bad night (1259)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it

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  (970): If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it http://tfl.nu/jxp6
  Replies (16) Good night (6449) Bad night (758)
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  (+35): View more from

  Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?

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  (+35): Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me? http://tfl.nu/6cfp
  Replies (12) Good night (895) Bad night (3997)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom

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  (630): She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/xz6e
  Replies (22) Good night (4622) Bad night (995)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.

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  (269): No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success. http://tfl.nu/5coq
  Replies (5) Good night (1593) Bad night (813)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.

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  (201): Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that. http://tfl.nu/wq84
  Replies (7) Good night (1329) Bad night (580)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  hey man, it was for science okay.

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  (413): dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs. (443): hey man, it was for science okay. http://tfl.nu/r3mr
  Replies (10) Good night (1351) Bad night (403)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.

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  (502): Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis. http://tfl.nu/i3da
  Replies (2) Good night (586) Bad night (579)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.

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  (919): Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/9jhi
  Replies (8) Good night (366) Bad night (878)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.

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  (843): I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done. http://tfl.nu/68sv
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (310)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys

  (703): View more from Virginia

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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  (334): I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys (703): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/zqx5
  Replies (1) Good night (945) Bad night (357)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things

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  (315): i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things http://tfl.nu/x59u
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (529)

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