ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend

  Fav 5 1773 826

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?

  Fav 357 1137 8345

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (616): View more from Michigan

  this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.

  Fav 12 5930 1373

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.

  Fav 21 5468 1521

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend

  Fav 8 5490 1228

  share tweet
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.

  Fav 19 4476 1520

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.

  Fav 6 2040 873

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"

  Fav 7 1282 1031

  share tweet
  

• (435): View more from Utah

  Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

  Fav 4 1307 831

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (418): View more from Quebec

  You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner

  Fav 6 1185 640

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch

  Fav 7 1043 658

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

  Fav 4 1613 731

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night

  Fav 4 1671 631

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up

  Fav 4 1189 513

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick

  Fav 6 1368 428

  share tweet
  

Randomize