Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
