Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
