I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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