I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
