Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
