I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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