I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There r osticjed everywhere
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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