she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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