did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
