i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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