Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You ate ashes out of my bong
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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