Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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