Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
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She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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