She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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