OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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