is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
nutella sex= disaster
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
