I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
