he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
