At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
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Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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