well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
