Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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