I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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