I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
