I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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