I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
