she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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