He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
