if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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