12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize