I need help removing her.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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