It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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