Already got asked if we're dating
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
