You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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