who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
