That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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