is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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