I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
