i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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