I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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