i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.