hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
