Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
